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Feb 18, 2009 14:33:43 GMT 12
Post by patches08 on Feb 18, 2009 14:33:43 GMT 12
that is awesome krystle. Im glad to hear your perspective on this subject because it can be hard to argue a point when everyone is stuck to one opinion on it. There are some people out there (such as dwain) who are just fantastic and in that case, it wouldnt matter what religion people were because the couple would be able to support each other no matter what.
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Dating
Feb 18, 2009 14:59:24 GMT 12
Post by Christina on Feb 18, 2009 14:59:24 GMT 12
What Krystle said is awesome, but that still doesn't mean that religion wouldn't matter. For example, over the last couple of days I have been having these sweet chat's in the common room with a guy who shares the same free period as me. He's someone I find really easy to talk to and we share a lot of interests in common, and being the people we are, a lot of what we talk about leads on to the never-ending discussion of "The meaning of life, the universe and everything" (said in the voice of Stephen Fry). Which is pretty cool to be able to talk to someone about that whom haven't known very long. There is just one thing- He doesn't, and I do believe in the existance of God. We can have great talks tip-toeing around that and completely respect each others opinion, it's just we do not agree on that little thing. Which actually affects quite a lot, because it means while we can respect what the other has to say, but we can't support each other's stand point.
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kdubs
New Member
Posts: 33
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Dating
Feb 18, 2009 15:00:01 GMT 12
Post by kdubs on Feb 18, 2009 15:00:01 GMT 12
i see that, although dwain is a christian. everyone makes mistakes though. of course if you were there to hear my testimony, you would see so have I. I do think you ahve to date a chritian though. I never saw it before but it's kinda the way God intended it to be, as I see it. of course all the power to people who can make it work out there, as there are many. but as christians we seek Jesus first and nothing should come before that so if a christian is to date a non christian, and still fufill that God-seeking then thats fantastic!
ya guys keep putting in your fantastic opionions! this is a great discussion! and to all who look but dont reply, please break outta that and just say something on the matter!!
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Olivia
Junior Member
Yes. Really.
Posts: 72
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Dating
Feb 18, 2009 15:47:03 GMT 12
Post by Olivia on Feb 18, 2009 15:47:03 GMT 12
Well, I think that if you date another christian, it's pretty cool because you can do bible studies etc together and the other person would support your faith in christianity. However, I think you could also date a non-christian, as long as he knows that it's what you believe in, and he's cool with it. There's a lot of people out there, and even though I think that dating a christian would be easier, you don't have to stick to that line as long as your non-christian person acknowledges and supports your faith. Sure there are topics you couldn't really discuss with a non-christian opposed to a christian, and it would be harder, but you could date them, that's all i'm saying.
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simon
New Member
Posts: 1
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Dating
Feb 18, 2009 16:08:59 GMT 12
Post by simon on Feb 18, 2009 16:08:59 GMT 12
well i was just woundering about what is god's view on flirting?
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Feb 19, 2009 7:40:20 GMT 12
Post by Victa on Feb 19, 2009 7:40:20 GMT 12
thats A good question simon, in the bible there is no direct informing on gods view on flirting which is cool because the bible woulkd be lame if it just said everything obvious and as it was. this means we have the joy of thinking and discussing what might be based on what else we have read.
personaliy im not an experton what flirting looks like or how you do it lol. but i think low level of flirting is ok you know how kim and i joke around at work thats a joking kind of flirting and i think thats ok. i think the problem arises when your flirting with a girl and have no intension on taking that further or your flirting for fun, because then your playing with girls emotions and ask any girl and that is a massive no no lol lol. so i think your ok to do it in a joking way that both of you know your just wessing around but if your doing it to get girls to like you then maybe its not so good.
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Dating
Feb 19, 2009 8:29:47 GMT 12
Post by Jeremy S on Feb 19, 2009 8:29:47 GMT 12
Kiaora all,
Awesome discussion going on here - I never would have thought youth would be so keen to talk about dating! Teenagers these days...
I'm going to try and get some wiser people (and married people) to offer some of their insight into this whole topic, because it's great to get the perspective of people who are older, maturer and have been successful at dating. Cos - let's be honest - once the hormones start pumping, and the love train starts rolling around - it can be pretty hard to discuss stuff in a way that isn't trying to justify your actions!
My little piece of advice - I think as followers of Jesus, we cannot remove a topic (like 'dating') from the big story and then try and talk about 'What Christian's should do'. We've got to look at the whole big story of the Bible, and try and see what that says about us as humans.
For example - the massive idea of Imago Dei. We're made in the image of God - created as God's image bearers, in His temple (earth). All humans reflect this image of God - although distorted by sin, we haven't lost this Imago Dei. So what are the implications of this for dating? For flirting?
Also, the joy that humanity and God had when Adam & Eve got together - everyone thought that was pretty flippin sweet! What are the implications of that?
Rad discussion though, loving hearing these different thoughts and ideas - keep em going!
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Dating
Feb 23, 2009 20:36:19 GMT 12
Post by zoë-life on Feb 23, 2009 20:36:19 GMT 12
Hey this is such an awesome discussion. I really enjoyed reading all your thoughts on this topic, some very interesting and well thought out points of views!
Just to add my 2 cents for what its worth. When I was dating in college I didn't really think too much about the whole Christian area because I was so new to following Jesus myself and to be honest - Like I was gonna marry them anyway! So what did it matter?? And like Courtney has said there are many a good people out there who don't know Jesus, and to be honest, in terms of living can actually put a lot of Christian to shame. But I've come to realise that its actually a pretty dangerous game to play. Not because people who don't know Jesus are 'bad' and if you're smart and are going with someone who respects your Christian life then they may not 'pull you down from the chair (cool illustration though). The danger can be that they won't pull you up higher - closer to Jesus. Like I said - I wasn't thinking marriage with those guys necessarily, but you never know when your going to fall in love. A friend back in Palmy was going with a guy who wasn't a Christian and it ended up getting serious (not what she intended at the start) They dated for years and she loved him and couldn't imagine life without him. But the problem was that there was a whole part of herself that she couldn't share with him, that he didn't understand and in the end she ended it with him. That choice she made those years ago that she thought didn't really matter, ended up causing her a whole lot of heart ache.
We should be striving to follow Jesus more and more in our lives and God made us relational, so a huge part of us becoming closer to God is through our relationships - friends and more than friends. I can not imagine being married to someone who didn't believe in Jesus. For Mark and I it is just so central to how we live, the choices we make, how we raise Lucy. And yes someone who isn't a Christian could make that same choice but from a completely different motive. Mark knows me better than anyone, he's able to encourage me to take steps of faith in a way that no one else can, he can also pull me up in ways others can't. He encourages me to keep Jesus as my first love and to always be following where He is leading me. A partner who doesn't know Jesus may respect it, but won't encourage you in it. There is also something incredibly intimate about sharing Jesus together. Praying together for things going on, rejoice in God and hoping in Him together can really bind you together. When you share Jesus together it reveals something deeper about your partner, when you're praying together and talking about Jesus you get to see deeper into that persons soul - their spirit. When we believe in Jesus we are made spiritually alive, if you're partners not, then that's a whole part of your being that you can't share.
Like I said before, some of you are not thinking about marriage necessarily when dating (and if you're not I ask you why not? What's the point?) But you never know when you're going to fall in love, why make it harder for yourself? And why deny yourself that deeper intimacy? Also the choices you make dating now - good or bad - will effect your future relationships, something to think about.
Cool, that's my incredibly long post - sorry bout that. But I am sooo loving reading all these great thoughts. Keep posting them and feel free to pull me up on anything you disagree with!!
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Dating
Feb 25, 2009 5:52:57 GMT 12
Post by victor on Feb 25, 2009 5:52:57 GMT 12
ZOE, its victor i have a question for you......what does the whole concept of marriage mean to you whats it about hows ti look?
and once you marry someone does anything need to change in your relationship or is it just a period in your life toghther where you realise you want to share the rest of your life with your partner?
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Dating
Feb 25, 2009 19:02:55 GMT 12
Post by zoë-life on Feb 25, 2009 19:02:55 GMT 12
Hey Victor,
Those are some pretty deep questions there! I'll do my best to answer them. I guess my concept of marriage is that its the ultimate of human relationships. You know each other better than anyone else, and you share life together - all its up and downs, your accepted and loved for who you are - no masks, just honest truth. I guess marriage is the commitment to be there no matter what, to love and respect no matter what. You journey this life together, head in the same direction, encourage and support each other to be the best you can. I guess ultimately if marriage is running how God intended it, without all the junk, then it should be a pretty sweet picture of Gods love and the unity within the trinity.
But we do have so much junk that we bring into our relationships. I guess the biggest thing is that love is a choice, its an active word. When we talk about 'falling in love' its that whole emotional feeling love, which is AWESOME but doesn't stand the test of time, especially the hard times. You don't always feel that kind of love towards your partner, and that doesn't mean that you don't love them, it just means that your love is maturing. You don't realise you want to share the rest of your life together over a period of time, its a choice you make when you decide to marry. I chose to love Mark, no matter what is thrown at us, and honestly sometimes it can be hard, just as it can be hard for him to love me sometimes, but thats the choice we made and its what makes us secure in our marriage. I know that Marks with me in this, and that is awesome.
When you do marry your relationship does change. It becomes deeper I guess, more intimate, for obvious reasons and also because you see more of them, learn more about them. I think in a good marriage you should truthful be able to say that you love them more now than you did when you married them - not the ooy gooy kinda love when you were dating, but that deep heartfelt, core kinda love. As you do life together in a loving and respectful way - how could you not fall more in love??
But the thing is that when you actually look at what love is - its hard, 1 Cor 13 isn't a bunch of romantic dinners and movies. But the cool thing is when your marriage is based on God and He is you strength and provider - we can love, because He first loved us. (1John 4:19)
Does that make sense and answer your questions?? These are just my thoughts so sorry if it's confusing! Let me know if I've completely missed what you were asking!
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kdubs
New Member
Posts: 33
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Dating
Feb 26, 2009 10:11:03 GMT 12
Post by kdubs on Feb 26, 2009 10:11:03 GMT 12
Wow I so enjoy reading and really look forward to what people have to say in here! It really is amazing how God provides a person to say exactly what I could not express before. Zoe, thanks for posting.. it's really great to have someone that is older and married post on here reather than a bunch of teens trying to figure it out and I want to thank you for your wisdom, it's really concreted a few things for me.
cheers!
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Dating
Feb 26, 2009 11:47:45 GMT 12
Post by Courtney on Feb 26, 2009 11:47:45 GMT 12
Its awesome to have your insight into this Zoe. On the topic of marriage, something that came to mind. From what Ive learned, marriage is a challenging concept because its two different people accepting each other for who they are and working together constantly in unity through absolutely everything.
Big ups to those married couples who succeed in working together for such a long period of time.
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victrosity
New Member
" I just want you to know who I AM "
Posts: 36
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Dating
Feb 26, 2009 16:39:54 GMT 12
Post by victrosity on Feb 26, 2009 16:39:54 GMT 12
This is in reply to Zoe's message
yes you answered my question and confirmed what i thought, and i have another question this is however more conplicated than the last one, and i am slighly hesitant to ask but we should be asking such questions but if you dont want to share then thats ok.
in the bible it talks about after this life (this earth life before earth and heaven are renewed) that there will be no marriage. in my opinion thats because marriage is a concept /representative of what unity with god should look like so marriage may be like other things in terms of preparation for living like we will when creation is restored. so once god restores creation we will live with each other in the unity we were orignally ment to be in. so the necessity for marriage might be non-existant. (that is in the new heavens and earth)
now what is your thoughts on the idea that this passage seems to point out that there will be no marriage after death....how does that sit with you? do you think its a literal meaning, or do you think as i do in the paragraph above?
beacuse i guess it scares a bit me to think about marriage and how much you fully commit to the other person emotionaly, physicaly, and mentaly and to know that may be only in this worldy life. should that fear be dissmissed by the fact that in restoration we will have unity with everyone as we should (ie communial marriage, as well as marriage to god) and that this fear is a product of human intelectual limitation? (as in because marriage or the concept of couples seems so concerte in society (rarely do i know of people who have gone through life unmarried with the above knowedge driving them) that to think of a world with no marriage is just so foreign its hard to imagine this concept of full unity with all people and esp with god)
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Dating
Mar 2, 2009 18:42:13 GMT 12
Post by zoë-life on Mar 2, 2009 18:42:13 GMT 12
Hey Victor,
You just get deep and deeper! They are awesome questions man but to be honest, I haven't really thought too much about marriage in this way. I've kinda talked to Mark about it, so I'll give you my thoughts but as we really have no idea what heaven will be like, its just my thoughts.
Marriage is a good thing, God set marriage up before the fall so it was always part of Gods plans. I don't know if there will be marriage in heaven but I would like to think that Mark and I will still be connected in some way. Whether that's in a similar way as marriage today or in another way, but it'll be much better than we can imagine. The Sadducces who were asking Jesus about marriage in heaven, they were trying to trick him, so Jesus turned it back on them, I'm not sure if we should take what Jesus said there as literal.
Marriage is a big commitment and I guess it is a scary thing to contemplate, but as you go through life and grow in your relationship with the other person it becomes a little less scary.
Mark will post something in reply as he has a better understanding than I do! =) Thanks for asking those and getting us thinking. Hope my thoughts are helpful in someway.
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Dating
Mar 14, 2009 15:21:57 GMT 12
Post by patches08 on Mar 14, 2009 15:21:57 GMT 12
Coming from a person who has grown up with more or less, a broken family. Not seeing a successful relationship between man and wife definitely leaves people like me at a disadvantage compared to teens who have grown up seeing and learning how to act...
However in saying that, Ive learnt that marriage shouldn't be feared at all when its just the unity between man and wife on earth. But its been interesting to see what fuels the unity and difficulties between two people. A marriage is about a unity based on commitment, honesty, loyalty, friendship and being humble with each other. But also determination and perserverance in the long run.
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